Holding hands continued and a bit of gambling

After my post about holding hands I thought I would investigate a bit more about why so much attention is being paid to 17 May as a day to remember gay rights and protest for acceptance. I didn’t have to go to far – I was sent a mail which explained it all and made me think a bit further than my possibly glib response to the hand holding protest being planned for that day.

You see, I think gay couples holding hands publicly as a form of protest in South Africa is unnecessary because it doesn’t make sense. We have a constitution that protects our relationships and are allowed to enjoy legal protection of those relationships in a union recognised in the same category as marriage under the law. So we don’t need to protest for formal acceptance of our relationships thanks to a constitution considered to be the most forward thinking in the world.

But, in thinking further, I think the hand holding protest in the context of the USA is a good one. There they have had their rights stripped away after Prop 8. Relationships that were once recognised by law (like Ellen de Generes’s marriage to Portia) is now under threat, and legal action is being taken to have those marriages annulled. All this quite reminiscent of Prop 6 and Anita Bryant (is she still alive by the way?). If you don’t know what I’m tlking about then get yourself to a cinema to see Milk.

So, in that context, a protest to affirm their unions is appropriate. I know that I would be hacked if FJ and I were married and then forced to divorce through no choice of our own. It denies someone their humanity after affording it to them… even more offensive. I know some claim it on religious grounds, but imagine if I, on religious grounds, demanded that all people who had been married and divorced and were now remarried were to have their marriages annulled because the Bible equates divorce and remarriage to adultery.

On 17 May 1990 the World Health Organisation took homosexuality off the list of mental disorders. 1990 feels like just the other day, but it’s almost 20 years ago. So it’s a day that gay people should celebrate. The big guys decided we weren’t freaks… and that our attractions were normal (in our contexts) and could not successfully be reversed.

17 May will be the International Day against Homapphobia (IDAHO) and so I think it’s appropriate that South Africa celebrates it. How I have no idea. And we need to protest communities that rape gay women to change them (relatively common in South Africa) or even murdered for their sexuality. And we need to stand up to the witch hunts in places like Uganda. Once again, how? Lord knows we don’t need another pride march… I really think the gay community needs to rethink those… anyone have thoughts on gay pride marches?

But I do understand the need to protest. So please don’t think my previous post was dissuading militance. I just think it needs to be thought out, appropriately communicated and executed as effectively as possible.

Okay, I know I lost some of you along the way there… hehe… but this is my space to ramble…

On a lighter note, my blackberry and I are in love. Especially since it has Texas Hold’Em poker on it. I’ve never really been a keen fan of card games and thought I’d check it out when I saw it was on my phone. And let’s just say I’m a terrible poker player, but I can’t stop trying to get better. I’ve lost hundreds of thousands of dollars (virtual) by now, but can’t stop. FJ is tolerating it for now, but I knew it was bad when I woke up early so I could play, and when I looked again, I was running late for work.. I was even tempted to play in the car while I was driving but decided against that (thank goodness).

I can easily see how people get sucked into casino’s and spend their days throwing notes onto tables or into machines. This is a side of me I never expected… and will have to watch…

Okay, who wants to bet on Adam Lambert winning Idols???



  1. Gay pride marches make gays look like freaks. Sorry but that is my humble hetero opinion.No more rambling from me. I fear I may get into enough trouble with those 2 lines.

  2. Not at all… no resounding angry response from me… a friend (who is gay) always said that it’s the one day we ask for respect but dress like assholes…And the media picks up on the more eccentric elements and not the two normal guys holding hands or the group of regular girls… I think it’s our fault and the media – both to blame…And I think its a bit past its sell by date – rather have a big kick ass party like MCQP or Mardi Gras, that’s inclusiveGay Pride is separatist…

  3. This ones kinda tought for me – While i fully hate the whole fact that people dressup in such elaborate costumes to ‘define’ their sexuality – I do understand it to some extent. I do hate the fact that sexuality becomes such an issue – that you have to announce it – (one of my straight friends said she never goes around telling people she is straight – so she thinks its crazy that i have to announce mines to everyone who is important to me) – but i am starting to see that it is because being gay is different – it goes against the genrally accepted norm. I do think that a lot of gay people do spend an inordinate amount of their lives being isolated and discriminated(i have done so for 25 years of my life now…and i doubt i will live to 100 thereby making it over 25% of my life) so when people do act out by making these vibrant wild declarations – maybe it does make them feel good. All i know is each persons journey is different. I guess i do also see the point that you shouldnt go throwing your sexuality in other peoples faces – and the whole gay pride thing is something in my mind where the jury is still out. I know it sounds selfish – but if i fond my soulmate and we were together – that would be sufficient for me – i wouldnt feel the need to join some movement that is vehemently demonstrative in being ‘out and proud’. Maybe that makes me an old boot and a coward – but like i say – we are each walking our ouwn planks. I will confess though – i went to see Priscilla Queen of the Desert the musical and had a remarkably good time out! And it was cos the costumes and stage were so elaborately camp! My straight flatmate had an equally good time. So i think its also important to appreciate the fact that it may also be about people going out to be festive. Anyhoo – on a totally irrelevant note – i am about to book my ticket back home – im nervous! soon you will need another pseudonym for me as i shall be ‘cm from dl’ no more!

  4. We probably have a very good idea of each other’s take on homosexuality from our previous chats so no need to revisit that.But re Adam: I’m guessing he will probably win; there is no doubt that he is a a very gifted boy but in my opinion he is more a theatrical dude than a pop idol. Also just a tad “drag queenish” hmm?So I’m hoping for Danny to win.I think he is funky and has a sexy, husky voice.Lets see what America thinks

  5. I thought Danny had it in the bag until last night. My DH and I were super impressed with Adam and he had made no impression on me at all until then. So glad Alison went home she was b o r i n g.

  6. Shoo wee…@Mel, I could not agree more with you and many others (including many gays too) – I’m not a fan of trumpeting the most flambouyant of our kin as the ‘face of faggotry’. It this day and age, it does nothing more than perpetuate stereotypes… which by and large do not even represent the bulk of the Gay polulation.However, to those less informed about the relevance of Queens at PRIDE, which quite possibly includes most of our present day PRIDE Marcher), it was the riots started by the Queens of the Stonewall Inn, some 40 years ago that gave rise to the marches of today and galvanised many of the rights movements of today. It’s fitting then, that they are commemorated in some way by taking the stage during PRIDE parades… but I really feel that; this year especially; they should be properly commemorated with a clear focus on the history.The rest of the time, we must always present our humanity first. Living, thinking, breathing, loving people – who also prefer their own gender for physical relationships…Ciao4Now

  7. Simply Mel – Of course its VOMIT! The eye liner – the crazy rabid look – the Drama! Way OTT!!!!I know i will probably be banned from commenting on Ramblers blog after revealing my feelings about the lamb – but really – I would rather see Heinz Winckler in the final then that foo foo drama queen!

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